


Take Me Home

by desperationandgin



Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: F/M, post ep, scene continuation, what's a fade to black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 21:06:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18948664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desperationandgin/pseuds/desperationandgin
Summary: A continuation of 'The Devil's Mark' set just after Claire asks Jamie to take her back to Lallybroch.





	Take Me Home

My hands wound through Jamie’s hair as we kissed and cried together, the salt of tears between our lips. My decision at the stones, what should have been the most difficult of my life so far, had actually come easily. Frank was a good man, a good husband, and I’d loved him. But there must be different types of love, because what I felt now, for Jamie, was love which felt all-consuming. Every thought, every _want_ centered around my new husband; my body felt alight when he was near and my very bones felt cold when we were parted. My next breath depended on Jamie, half of my heart relying on him to complete me. So, the decision had come easily, quickly. As he’d walked away from me I felt my soul ache with the thought of _goodbye_. 

What kept me far longer than it should have, was letting go of Frank.

He deserved the farewell that I couldn’t imagine giving to Jamie. I’d studied my two rings, eyes moving back and forth between gold and old, worn silver. One given to me in the rush of looming war, the other made of something beloved and welcoming, given to me filled with love already. When I’d met Frank just after losing my last piece of family, he’d taken care of the aching loneliness I’d felt. I fell into _happiness_ with him. I was happy to have him as my own, happy to spend my days with him and could have been content for the rest of our lives together. I enjoyed him, and he enjoyed having a pretty, caring wife. He didn’t under-value my intelligence, and he was kind.

The moment I realized I was in _something_ with Jamie was the day he was hurt after the duel at Sandringham’s calculated behest. I’d stitched him as my stomach twisted itself into knots with thoughts of _what if_ and _I cannot lose him_. I felt his pain as if it were my own, my heart ached, and it struck me that I felt more than comfortable caring for him. Then, when Colum sent Jamie with Dougal, I’d felt a chilling panic spread until I found myself kissing him desperately. I hadn’t wanted him to go, I’d known then nothing good would happen with us so far apart. It wasn’t until I was locked away with Geillis and she blithely proclaimed I said Jamie’s name in my sleep that I realized what I felt was _love_. I was _in love_ with Jamie and whatever I’d thought love was supposed to feel like hadn’t even been close to how I felt now: as though the world would be grey and colorless until Jamie’s return to me.

I apologized to Frank on that hill, sitting in front of the stones and speaking it aloud. He would likely never know what happened to me, but I hoped he could move on with his life. Perhaps I was a horrible person for it, but my future wasn’t in the 20th century. After making my way back to Jamie in the dark, I watched him sleep, his face tense with loss and sorrow. I’d done that to him, and I wanted nothing more than to soothe him. Once I was in his arms we kissed desperately until I needed to take a deep breath and gather my bearings.

“Ye didna leave me.”

His voice sounded awestruck, almost, and I looked up at him, reaching out to push errant curls away from his face. I’d thought of what to say, of all the things I could pour out to him, but only one thing made sense now.

“I love you, Jamie Fraser. More than I have ever loved anyone.”

More than (and differently than) I ever loved Frank. That guilt, I suspected, would stay with me for a long while to come. But the way Jamie’s face changed; the look in his eyes only re-affirmed that my decision was correct.

“Christ, I love ye, Sassenach. I wasna ever sure if ye loved me the same, or if ye would grow to,” he confessed, and my heart tightened in my chest. 

Reaching out, my hands cradled his face, making him look directly into my eyes. “I love you,” I repeated firmly. “My home is here, with you. The thought of never seeing you again, Jamie, I couldn’t bear it,” I finally confessed. I sealed my words with a hard kiss to his lips, my mouth yielding to his tongue as he maneuvered my body with ease under his own.

“Ye truly are mine, Claire?” he asked, his mouth pressing to the hollow of my throat.

As one of my hands moved through his soft curls, I spoke with a breathless voice thanks to his lips. “My heart is yours, Jamie.” The most precious thing I could give him.

Ducking his head, his lips pressed to my chest against the thudding of my heart. “I promise, Sassenach, to protect it, always.” It was a sweet interlude, a vow I knew he would keep seriously forever. After sealing his words with a kiss, his hands moved down and then back up, pushing my skirts along the way.

“Will ye have me, Claire? Inside of ye now?”

“That’s what I wanted before,” I murmured softly, chasing his mouth with my own.

Jamie’s body came to rest between my thighs, my legs spread for him to fit comfortably. “I needed to watch ye, Sassenach. I kent it would be the last time. I didna think ye’d ever choose--”

Tears I couldn’t explain blurred my vision as my hands pushed and shoved at his kilt until I could guide him into the warmth of my body. For a moment we were both still, breathing one another’s air before I turned my head to press a kiss to his jaw. “I will never make you feel that way again.” It was a vow of my own. He would always be loved by me, never would my heart belong to another. Slowly, my hips rocked against his, consummating my promise to him.

When he moved, his hands braced themselves on either side of me as my own pressed to his shoulders. With my feet pressing to the backs of his thighs, I urged him deeper, harder, and cried out into the dark every time his pelvis rolled against tightly wound nerves.

“Tell me again, Sassenach.” His breath was heavy, shuddering as he tried to kiss me, lips brushing mine. One look at him and I knew what he wanted to hear.

“I love you, Jamie. I love you, and I’m _yours_.” His to love and be loved by, his to spend the rest of his days with. I wanted it, I realized. I wanted the life he’d described at Lallybroch, what we could have, all of the things we could do. I wanted to be his _Lady Broch Tuarach_ and tend to our tenants as healer.

At my declaration, he moved faster and I felt myself plummet into oblivion. Crying out, my hands grasped at his sides, gathering handfuls of clothing as my back arched beneath him. It only took another half-dozen thrusts before I gasped out his name, jerking in his arms and reaching up to tug at fistfuls of his hair. As my body tightened around him, pulling him in, I heard him whisper words I couldn’t understand save for my name. Warmth made me whimper in bliss as he spilled into me, forehead pressing to mine. We stayed that way for what felt like hours until he finally moved and laid on his side before pulling me into his arms, my back to his chest.

“Will ye ever change your mind?” 

He asked it so softly, that had he not been directly by my ear, I might not have heard him. Reaching for his hand, I pressed my lips to his palm, then to his wrist before tucking myself closer to him, pressing that hand to my chest.

“Never, Jamie. I will never leave you.” I turned then, needing to see him, wanting him to see _me_. As soon as we were settled again, I finally ended my statement with words pressed to his lips.

“I promise.”


End file.
